A Valentine

#Photo, Fanaka Shop

I am writing this song 

For my love

He is a man, like no other

For the man I love is a Lion, His silence roars

His mane is a glorious site that matches his majestic face

His strength unmatched, 

Making me brave, For I have a protector

A Lion and a king: My Lion.

I close my eyes and I imagine his mighty hands

His tough cuddle

And when his skin is against my skin

I melt by his power

For a moment, the most important moment..

I get lost in his scent. It is the best place to be

 For Valentine and for all days

You should know , that you got a full heart

For your heart picked me, while I was weak

Your hand held me, when I was feeble

Your words revived me, 

Your touch, began a fire , that you only can quench

You , that make me to sing and dance to womanhood

You that introduced me to butterflies

Beautiful flowers that unfurl 

For everyday and taking me to the deepest of ends

My love for you is unending

P. S Special to Valentines to all mens!!!!

Look!!!

 

#Mine

Apology: Whatever you read here, will not sound good at all

This is an account of something so real it scares me to write. I am scared because I still dont see it or me. Growing up, I have had this sense of 'smallness' in me. When I talk of smallness, I mean all sort of things. From a small body frame, little feet and other things. However, I grew up around people who confused me on whether I am small or big. Let me explain this, from my small frame, and the fact of being a girl or woman, I was expected to tone it down a little. And it was not a good idea since my voice is thunderous. Even when I won, I had to tone it down as my voice of celebration was counted as pride. As I said , I was expected to be 'small'

I am going to talk about the way I walk. Whether I am alone or in the midst of people. I like lifting my feet low. I do not like dust. However, I feel forced to walk a certain way to fit into my smallness. And just writing that , made me realize that, I got confused when I became 'big.' I mean, even when given big responsibilities and anything big, I just want to freeze to my smallness. I am afraid of anything BIG,

Let me start with the simplest of things. Most of my friends talk of how big I have become!!! But most of you dont know that, When I go to buy clothes, I still look at the 'small dresses.' Big scares me. I still want to sink into my smallness, In the real sense, the big me got flesh.(kiuongamo-as my tribesmen would call it). I might be obese but even if I wasnt I still think I would be scared.

I want to recount something that happened to me last week, I came across a profile of someone close to me. This person, exalted her values, accomplishments and beliefs and I was wowed by the way they see themselves!!! For a moment, I was asking myself , how do you do that!!? I never asked them.

Takes me back to freezing to smallness. I do not even what to call it, It is childishness or immaturity or just plain fear. What is it really? My version of things..It is in me, and the fact that I do not look close enough. I do not look into my heart, my mind or my eyes or when I do, I do not want to reaffirm to myself who I am. What do I really see? 

Well, something I heard somewhere "The first step to recovery is admission" I am admitting to myself that I see myself small. or maybe I do not see myself at all. Circumstance or not, I cannot close my eyes to myself. and nobody is going to rescue me. I need to stand up for myself. I need to see myself. I am me and nobody can be me. 

Scared or not. It is my job to see myself. 

#Reflective Friday