Mimi ni Mchokozi sana. Like a little chicken I will dig through trash just to prove my point. If it helps, at the end I feeling like the crap i dug out. Reaching out to people, I do this a lot. Especially from the past. I dug into a past thing of mine this last week. Talking to this person was like a blades of disbelief. The swearing, the constant chest thumping. I am not the kind that will swear(especially when it harms others), But men, there are people who are just a*****es. I feel wasted for digging into my people, for feeling anything. I feel like, maybe I should have slept or read a book or even listened to Katy Pery on repeat. Ugh!!! I guess that is where life has taken me.
When i decided to write about the 'A Part of Me' series, I wanted to empty my heart, my soul and my mind...Then I would read them myself. I shared with you that you would hold me accountable to the other part. I wanted to read to for myself. It is seeing -how i think, feel and what I am in paper.(well in the screen). It is like reading a creed to myself. I want to read through this, and feel myself. It is accountability Saturday and I am sitting filling in the past week's actions, reactions and all of it. It is been a tough week. I think i have lost love, friendships and God, crappy feelings of connections. I lost love because, it is not enough. I gained understanding too. Or as my generation says -It is what it is-. It is funny, that I am still here and looking into myself with optimism. This week a friend told me that am selfish, egocentric and other unpleasant adjectives. I took it in. To heart even. I didn't want to recount the good i had done to the strangers and the pleasantness i had shared with others(Am awkward at best-so pleasant is a stretch). With all of it, I decided to keep on doing good, being better and not complaining. (well, this is part of it, but sometimes, when you let someone in, you feel kinda puffed-when this happens). Well, with a week filled with lots of travel, people and new things. I needed to put it out in paper.
Oh! Something else happened. I used the standard gauge railway(SGR). You should know about me, I am a christian and I went to school. Well, it was a rainy and very cold morning at the station. Then, something that makes me burn with fury....Ladies dressed in very short and exposing skirts(especially) and their male counterparts in appropriate clothes for the cold. I kept asking myself, who came up with the rule of women in short attires for work!!!? What is attractive in that!!!? Is this forced!!? I thought about that, the entire trip. Glancing at every station to see if this was the trend. Sadly it was. I felt less that day. I was a bit sad and tense. Because I wanted to shout and explode. I went home..........................................
Unperfect photos of Wavinya( in the middle)
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