A Beautiful Evening

Staring into the horizon, to a disappearing day

It is the end of a day,

It is a beautiful evening,

The sky seems to touch the earth and the ocean

In a perfect harmony

Reminding me of a journey I have taken,

With the sun's spark, like an eye

And the sparkle, disappearing into the mountains,

The slow waves,

Saddening the heart, thy beauty disappears

Breaking the heart, the sparkle is swallowed into darkness,

Sitting and awaiting the light............................................................

 (Nature's Perfect)

Photo: Courtesy of sirhC)

Day 5: Part of me: Then the other part

Naked

I want strip all of me, For you to see all of me

To read and understand my thoughts

So that you can understand my fears,

My strengths, and weakness

All of it, Because for you i want to be naked

 -everything-

For you decide if that it is enough

I want to strip my pride

So that you can see the weak  me

My indecisive self,

The broken me,

I want you to be clear, 

This is the part of me, I want you to see

Naked for you to satisfy your curiosity

or to excite your desires

Because my body trembles at the thought of your lips

Naked, 

With sweats of desire

For you

I want to be whole

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love

Dreams of you wake me, Even to the empty bed, I smile because i have you.

With you, I smile at the mirror, I can see and feel the beauty

With you, I go back to shower, just to make sure that, i am clean enough

Disarranging my closet, So I can get the perfect dress,

For your eyes, and for me

Is it white, or blue or black!!!

With you, i give a second thought to stuff

To people, because I want  you to be proud of me.

And to carry on the mantle for your kindness.

With you, knowledge is appealing, I want to challenge you

Be like you, or better yet.

With you, I have learned to soldier on

To see things clearly, Even be quiet for moments

It is the peace, I have earned

 

With you, I can close my eyes

And move into a beautiful dreamland; Where I see you and me 

Letting go, breathing from your breath

Moments of intense motions,  and waves

The only current that I would allow to be swept in,

With trust and a quiet heart

I AM ALL YOURS.

 

 

Day 4- A Part of Me; Then the other Part

 Ever since I was young, I remember everybody calling me careless. Well the meaning of careless is 'not giving sufficient attention or thought to avoiding harm or errors.' (Oxford Languages). I remember my teachers kept my exercise books for me. I overly grew conscious on the careless part. From then onward, I kept every piece of paper or book, or anything I held dear. My student ID in secondary school,my exam cards, my books from college. I am and still trying to prove that I am not careless. Well, something changed in 2014. I had my son. Proving and all, I realized that I had to keep my stuff together. Well, I am careless especially when I am tired. I can leave things to go to hell. Worse if a critic is in my ear. It is a bad trait, I know. But for the better part, I have tried to keep pictures, cards, etc. Everything i need to keep intact and safe I have. I have learnt watched my words. Every time i want to say a word, carelessly, I re-think and said it in my head. Even so when i am angry. I think I only check my levels of carelessness  when I am happy. Or when am talking to friends. 

I think am saying my son(children) changed me. I cannot be careless with anything. I cannot misplace anything in the house or otherwise. I learnt to put the house together(not that i didn't know) but everything has to be in its rightful place at the right time. That includes plates, money, medicine, all of it. I am happy that this is the case. I have particularly been careful with words. first, i can never be careless with words, whatever you plant out there comes back. I strive to plant good, so that it comes back with the beauty of life-For my children. Recently, I realized that, every word i say, my children say. It doesn't matter the language. I knew this is the case, but i was surprised to hear them say it back to me. I do not want to cause harm to them, so carelessness is not part of the narrative. Doing right, doesn't matter the cost. 

Looking into my eyes, I saw that I am willing to go the extra mile. I am perfect, with the imperfectness. Godspeed.

Day 3- A Part of me, Then the other part

 Mimi ni Mchokozi sana. Like a little chicken I will dig through trash just to prove my point. If it helps, at the end I feeling like the crap i dug out. Reaching out to people, I do this a lot. Especially from the past. I dug into a past thing of mine this last week. Talking to this person was like a blades of disbelief. The swearing, the constant chest thumping. I am not the kind that will swear(especially when it harms others), But men, there are people who are just a*****es.   I feel wasted for digging into my people, for feeling anything. I feel like, maybe I should have slept or read a book or even listened to Katy Pery on repeat. Ugh!!! I guess that is where life has taken me. 

 When i decided to write about the 'A Part of Me' series, I wanted to empty my heart, my soul and my mind...Then I would read them myself. I shared with you that you would hold me accountable to the other part. I wanted to read to for myself. It is seeing -how i think, feel and what I am in paper.(well in the screen). It is like reading a creed to myself. I want to read through this, and feel myself.  It is accountability Saturday and I am sitting filling in the past week's actions, reactions and all of it. It is been a tough week. I think i have lost love, friendships and God, crappy feelings of connections. I lost love because, it is not enough. I gained understanding too. Or as my generation says -It is what it is-. It is funny, that I am still here and looking into myself with optimism. This week a friend told me that am selfish, egocentric and other unpleasant adjectives. I took it in. To heart even. I didn't want to recount the good i had done to the strangers and the pleasantness i had shared with others(Am awkward at best-so pleasant is a stretch). With all of it, I decided to keep on doing good, being better and not complaining. (well, this is part of it, but sometimes, when you let someone in, you feel kinda puffed-when this happens). Well, with a week filled with lots of travel, people and new things. I needed to put it out in paper. 

Oh! Something else happened. I used the standard gauge railway(SGR). You should know about me, I am a christian and I went to school. Well, it was a rainy and very cold morning at the station. Then, something that makes me burn with fury....Ladies dressed in very short and exposing skirts(especially) and their male counterparts in appropriate clothes for the cold. I kept asking myself, who came up with the rule of women in short attires for work!!!? What is attractive in that!!!? Is this forced!!? I thought about that, the entire trip. Glancing at every station to see if this was the trend. Sadly it was. I felt less that day. I was a bit sad and tense. Because I wanted to shout and explode. I went home..........................................

Unperfect  photos of Wavinya( in the middle)