I have settled in the darkness

I have settled in the darkness,
The clouds are heavy and i can feel them cloud my light, with darkness and heaviness i cannot fathom
My soul is turning black in the weight of the darkness
I can barely breathe
I can barely eat
I can barely think straight
The weight is overwhelming
My eyes filled with fierce hatred
my chest about to explode in anger
Music like a dirge
It never pleasures
I cannot sing along
The darkness is eating away -my heart-
My life is in darkness
The confusion,
The uncertainty
The longing for fresh air
The thirsty
The pitch black
And yet i do not want the darkness.