I have settled in the darkness

I have settled in the darkness,
The clouds are heavy and i can feel them cloud my light, with darkness and heaviness i cannot fathom
My soul is turning black in the weight of the darkness
I can barely breathe
I can barely eat
I can barely think straight
The weight is overwhelming
My eyes filled with fierce hatred
my chest about to explode in anger
Music like a dirge
It never pleasures
I cannot sing along
The darkness is eating away -my heart-
My life is in darkness
The confusion,
The uncertainty
The longing for fresh air
The thirsty
The pitch black
And yet i do not want the darkness.

Love Destroys

One-sided love is destructive
It is blind, since one side is in pitch darkness
It is pale, the dye is dilute and never enough
It is painful,
It is numb
It is distracting
It is bitter
It is draining
The soul withers
The body 's drab
It is shameful
Nothing but grief

An Angry Wife

I have been thinking about it. Your anger. Your growing nastiness. The philandering. Your hatred.

Towards me, but of course it was not me at all.

You sit and blame me, Not for what i have done, But for what you couldn't do. 

Lets take  a journey

When you left me unattended, I sat and waited for you

I bore my soul and body for you

I chose to trust, even when my instincts were screaming at me, not to.

I have chosen you over and over again. I hated myself so that i can love you

Your escapades left me with a deep resentment for myself and my body

I felt i was not enough to quench you, But of course I was.

I tried to help you find yourself, But still it was not enough

You took and never cared .

You mauled my body. You damaged my heart. 

I do not blame you

I am angry, at myself

So, when you sit and blame, whine and complain

Look at the millions times, you looked at my face and lied

Look at the moments You would sneak around and come to climb on the bed with me.

Look at the purity of my body, you tainted with strange women.

Look at the times i went to hospital and I wouldn't want to mention my disease.

Look at the millions you undressed me, you spoke ill of me

Look at the times you let others harm me

Look at the times you would abuse and insult me

Look at the times you slapped my face to oblivion

Look at the tears i cried for nights unending

Look at the anger you put into me

Look and before you want my pity, Think again

Think again

Better Days

 Josephine

I sent you peace and i sent you a warm hug. It  is all i can give. given the circumstances.

Thinking about you and the pain you are going through.

The anger and not knowing who to blame.

The confusion and the darkness. I sent you peace. It will light your thoughts.

And soon you will be able to breathe.

Josephine, breathe into the wind and the whispers will reach heaven

I do not know how to console you. I can only listen and cry with you.

I can never understand your loss. I just know that, It will never be the same

I dont know how the pain will last, But i know that I will be here: For as long as i have. To be a better friend.

Heavens help you understand better. Feel better and hope for better days. 

Love

Wavinya