Dear Ocean that is me

 

Pic: National Geographic

I call you an ocean because some days I 

cannot figure out your depth or your shallowness,

Do you run so deep that most people

drown at first trial

Is it that you are so deep and so dark

That nobody can survive you and 

Your enormity!!

Or is that you are shallow that no ship can anchor

Mightily!!

Or that ship and light boats are waved around in your expanse

Which is it, dear ocean that is me?

Because, I have watched from ashore.

Spectators admire the blue ocean,

Some even stare into the deep heart of the 

ocean

While other stare and try touching the waters,

When the water forms little ripples or it rumbles,

Most ran way, others watch from a distance, 

swallowed by the enormity of the waves

They stay and stare. Agape.

With eyes filled with wonder,

Dear ocean that is me, is that what you are good for?

A spectacle for the spectators

A wonder for the thrill seekers

Another adventure for the ocean explorer

All who dare  not enter the shores?

Dear ocean that is me, who are you really?

You remain untouched, dear ocean

Your beauty unexplored. Admired from afar

No fisherman dares see whats underneath the waters

No explore seeks to understand your treasures

     Buried underneath

    Even the pearls deep under

No diver dares get into your depth

Dear ocean that is me, What is so scary about you!?

I give up, Every thing Stolen

 

Days have come, days have gone by,

But 

This is is the day I finally, give up, everything

Everything stolen 

I mean the little episodes of sunshine and smile,

That do not belong to me, but the person whose actually makes you smile

Yes, I am giving up, because, the sun shines for the while,

And then and suddenly,

It goes dim on me, and

I am left in darkness and cold

Very cold,

Forced to hide my wears before the darkness finally catches up with me,

Yes, some days, I am left with a fever I cannot heal,

I give up, sunshine and smile that does not belong to me

Even when I take years, 

Some glories aint mine, I am accepting that today,

A lended glory is as good as the lender's comfort.

How did I get this comfortable?

Yet, I keep on waiting.

For a day of coffee, another day a phone call, another day a good message,

Just days, 

Just episodes 

Of little sunshine, 

A sun that cannot shine when I rise up in the morning and I am cold

And wanting of warmth 

A sun that cannot even dry the cold sheets of my heart, 

Useless at best

I give up, the stolen compliments,

If I was the prettiest thing 

or the bestest thing

or the thing of most value 

Why would I need to steal?

Waking up to call yourself a thief is no small fete 

It is from tired bones,

And a mind that refuses to settle for the little

or the back handed morsel, stolen

And loaded with a lie

Escorted with a handful of sand to cover the eyes

The ears too,

I give up, I refuse

Anything stolen. 

I am certain

I am calling myself out

I am telling myself

Enough is enough.

Give it all up. 

Even the sun 

I will stay in the dark, unafraid. 

A review of Grand Slam Life

 The Grand Slam Life is a flowing narrative of the experiences of Milton Haber and his family. It is the ideal story to detail the life of immigrants in the United States. Through the experiences, Milton brings to focuses on his parents’ experiences, settling in the United States, and family life. As a part of a family and a medical practitioner, Milton narrates his sacrifices to his patients. The medical perspective in the book brings about the "humanity concept" in Milton's practice. His choice of a duty station is the marginalized area of Laredo Texas. Milton's approach to the book explores the depth of commitment to medicine, the patients, and the communities he interacts with during his medical practice. The COVID-19 era and the execution of vaccines bring out the intensity of societal feelings. COVID-19 was a trying moment for the world and Milton brings out the experiences of a medical practitioner, patient, and survivor.

The book contains different themes surrounding the humanity topic. Firstly, the marriage between Milton’s American dad and Jewish mother. In addition, the family experiences during holidays and visit to Mexico. Besides, Milton vividly explains his social service year in General Escobedo, which is a community that ignites warmth and humanity. A close look at the prologue sums up Milton's service; it was holistic practice. The approach to medicine led Milton to understand his patients and solve their health problems and other life issues affecting them. An example of Milton’s commitment is in the choice of communities and the tireless efforts to execute Moderna trials. Essentially, Milton seeks to transform the human, community, and world experiences through medicine. A very noble commitment.

A positive aspect of this book is the flow of the story and the motivation of the author. The prologue gives an enriching view into the author's mindset and experiences. It is a book that connects the author and the reader. A particular favorite is Milton's experiences in General Escobedo. It brings to life the communal lifestyle in his interactions with the local shop owner and other folk. It is a deep connection to family and community. Besides, the book presents a level of optimism that ignites the human spirit in the face of tragedy. For example, the COVID-19 experiences are a good recollection for the world to understand the minds behind the vaccines and trials. From Milton’s words, I believe in the good of humanity and medicine.

I would rate this book 5 out of 5 since it is so well written. It is relatable in terms of growing up around family and other community and family-oriented experiences. In addition, the flow of the story makes it easy to follow. With minimal errors, the book provides vital information which helps relate Milton's experiences as a medical professional. The COVID-19 part is insightful since the world was practically "shut" It is an attempt to connect and bring out human resilience in the face of hardship.

I recommend the book to all readers as it exalts human virtues and commitment to making the world a better place. Milton's story is a good example to individuals who seek to make a difference in the world. A notable aspect of the book is the use of illustrations(pictures); it is a perfect way to make the story and the life of the author relatable to the readers.

A Valentine

#Photo, Fanaka Shop

I am writing this song 

For my love

He is a man, like no other

For the man I love is a Lion, His silence roars

His mane is a glorious site that matches his majestic face

His strength unmatched, 

Making me brave, For I have a protector

A Lion and a king: My Lion.

I close my eyes and I imagine his mighty hands

His tough cuddle

And when his skin is against my skin

I melt by his power

For a moment, the most important moment..

I get lost in his scent. It is the best place to be

 For Valentine and for all days

You should know , that you got a full heart

For your heart picked me, while I was weak

Your hand held me, when I was feeble

Your words revived me, 

Your touch, began a fire , that you only can quench

You , that make me to sing and dance to womanhood

You that introduced me to butterflies

Beautiful flowers that unfurl 

For everyday and taking me to the deepest of ends

My love for you is unending

P. S Special to Valentines to all mens!!!!

Look!!!

 

#Mine

Apology: Whatever you read here, will not sound good at all

This is an account of something so real it scares me to write. I am scared because I still dont see it or me. Growing up, I have had this sense of 'smallness' in me. When I talk of smallness, I mean all sort of things. From a small body frame, little feet and other things. However, I grew up around people who confused me on whether I am small or big. Let me explain this, from my small frame, and the fact of being a girl or woman, I was expected to tone it down a little. And it was not a good idea since my voice is thunderous. Even when I won, I had to tone it down as my voice of celebration was counted as pride. As I said , I was expected to be 'small'

I am going to talk about the way I walk. Whether I am alone or in the midst of people. I like lifting my feet low. I do not like dust. However, I feel forced to walk a certain way to fit into my smallness. And just writing that , made me realize that, I got confused when I became 'big.' I mean, even when given big responsibilities and anything big, I just want to freeze to my smallness. I am afraid of anything BIG,

Let me start with the simplest of things. Most of my friends talk of how big I have become!!! But most of you dont know that, When I go to buy clothes, I still look at the 'small dresses.' Big scares me. I still want to sink into my smallness, In the real sense, the big me got flesh.(kiuongamo-as my tribesmen would call it). I might be obese but even if I wasnt I still think I would be scared.

I want to recount something that happened to me last week, I came across a profile of someone close to me. This person, exalted her values, accomplishments and beliefs and I was wowed by the way they see themselves!!! For a moment, I was asking myself , how do you do that!!? I never asked them.

Takes me back to freezing to smallness. I do not even what to call it, It is childishness or immaturity or just plain fear. What is it really? My version of things..It is in me, and the fact that I do not look close enough. I do not look into my heart, my mind or my eyes or when I do, I do not want to reaffirm to myself who I am. What do I really see? 

Well, something I heard somewhere "The first step to recovery is admission" I am admitting to myself that I see myself small. or maybe I do not see myself at all. Circumstance or not, I cannot close my eyes to myself. and nobody is going to rescue me. I need to stand up for myself. I need to see myself. I am me and nobody can be me. 

Scared or not. It is my job to see myself. 

#Reflective Friday

How do I Tell People

#Photo from teahub.io

 How do I tell people, 

That on the day, I left the door locked behind me 

By the bang at the door, I knew I was alone

In a vortex 

With no strength 

And not a working mind

I was imprisoned

By the tenderness of heart

Yet my captor showed no mercy

How do I tell people!!

How do I tell people

That their letters did not reach me

Torn with malice

And that my phone was broken in half

No one could reach me

I was fed by one

A gospel that filled me with hatred

Anger

How do I tell people 

I couldn't  reach you!!

How do I tell people

That my swollen face was fist across my face

And that I was afraid to ignite his anger

That I fought to be in his good side

In everybody's good side

Everyday sinking into the mud

How do I tell people!!

How do I tell people 

That I had to break the walls 

And that walking alone was not easy

That my bruised head is not my fault

My knees are bleeding from crawling

How, do I tell people that 

My eyes are veiled by darkness

That sometimes I cannot see the distant

That is why I keep circling

It is dark

How do I tell people that!!!

 I am whatever to take me 

Spin it

Bend it

To your liking

Call me cold 

Or insensitive

But I wont give warmth

or be drained

I am selective on who sees which side of me

I radiate and roar

I keep my chin up

And sail away in freedom

Freedom from your lies

I am whatever you take me