Love is attached to something. It is not the emptiness of worlds, or the swarm of feelings. It is solid. It is peace. With love, the world is full and the swarm stays intact. 

Queting the Disquiet

                                                                    #Photo by Joe McDonald

Do not dare call me crazy

I understand disturbance in the water, 

I feel my hair stand, 

I can sense when the predator watching

Sizing me, 

Pawing

Gnawing

With saliva

Feet ready to pounce

It is like a feeling at the back of my neck

It is ugly 

It does not give me rest

Disquiet

With 'might'- Less

You sharpen your teeth

Your mistake, 

Looking at my tail,

My unseen self

I am a cat 

Ferocious

Charged

Quiet!

Judging me for not taking flight

For not being the decent

I am disquieting the quiet

Ready 

To pounce back

With malice

Because I understand that, you will show no mercy

The disquiet

It is allowed

 It is allowed to be messy. At least in my life, I allow messy. We deal with messy situations. Messy people. And the narrative to not let people affect your moods is slightly overrated. It is not an all the time kind of messy. When the situation, or the person, the feeling or whatever .Be messy. Perfection is an illusion. 

https://www.pond5.com/stock-footage/item/22818443-girl-eating-messy-slice-chocolate-cake

Price of Admission(Day 1 of 365)

#Pic from Webshopedia

1.    Admission:

 ‘the act of agreeing that something is true, especially unwillingly’(The Cambridge Dictionary Definition).

This word has significant value in my life. It comes from the mouth or from the heart out of deep realization or a slap in the face (Reality strikes) and to me, it is a sign that, you are done band-aid solution. The price of admission of steep.

Admission means, agreeing to things, you normally cant say, can agree to. It is accepting the skeletons to come out of the closet. When admitting, nobody forces you, You force yourself since it is so uncomfortable to stay in that place. It is painful not to admit and for someone like me, It is facing myself.

Over time I have learned to admit to several things. I have admitted to

1.      I agree that I am not okay

2.      I agree that I am stagnated

3.      I agree that I am not doing enough

4.      I agree that, I am not praying enough

5.      I agree that I need help

Admission is confession.

This is the reason, I sought after help, Mentoring. I needed help. I wanted to move forward.

First steps. On the day I met my mentor, I had three questions. The most disturbing question was, ‘I am the reason for my current state? Perhaps my bad attitude? Well, this questions doesn’t need an answer. It lies therein. On this day, I was willing to pay the price of admission.

Mentoring day one, I learnt this

1.      We all face obstacles and it is upon us to find a /our way.

2.      Every time we seek help, It is like planting a little seed to the soil. Seeking help, knowledge, breakthrough is like a seed waiting to sprout. One day, It grows and into a, mighty tree it turns to be.

3.      Forging my/your Way-This is the hardest thing to do, In a world with little or no opportunities. Forge a way, every day, leave a trail.

4.      Seeking help means bringing together experiences. It means having someone to ‘exchange notes’ and learn from

 

The price of admission is a change in attitude, mind set and simply means looking yourself in the mirror and wanting different and investing in different.

Thank you S.

 

Price of Admission

 

#Photo from Shutterstock

You know who you are!! You can tell yourself the truth. You know your truth Live it,

If It is not good, You have the power to change it!!! You have to admit your truth to yourself first!!